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on 18 years of marriage

18 years ago I got married to my wonderful wife. In the past 15 years of ministry I have been able to preform 37 weddings. Some are still married, some are not.

I have had the pleasure of talking with and learning from friends who are life long singles, divorced, remarried, couples who live together and couples that have been married far longer than we have.  I have heard some great stuff along the way and really enjoy thinking about relationships and our deep interconnectedness as humans.

This is my favorite piece of advice. I typed this up and gave it to my friend on the eve of his wedding. I thought it would be fun to post it here.

Treat your marriage like it was a third person in your house. There is you, your wife and your marriage – it is an entity all it’s own. You need to invest time in it, invest energy in it and invest money in it. You could be doing well and your wife could be doing well but your marriage… not so much.  In your budget make sure that there is a line for your stuff, her stuff and your marriage’s stuff – don’t deny that all three of you need and deserve a line item.  In your scheduling make sure that you get some time, she gets some time and it gets some time.

At your wedding the preacher will say “the two are one”. That is true in one sense. The other side of that truth is that you have created a new reality that must be cared for as a ‘third’.

Everyone I know who does something like this has a marriage you can live in, everyone who does not do this sees the effects of not doing it. When it comes to marriage, there a lot of variables, but here are two things that I am pretty confident of:

  1. Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. It is a 100/100 endeavor. It takes everything you can give it to really make it work.
  2. Marriage is not two, it is three. Whether you call it a third strand that binds you together or a covenant or something else, it is more than just the two of you.

I want to thank all our friends and family who make our life so rich and wonderful. Thank you for all your love.  -Bo

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The world is not ending

Here are some collected thoughts about the events of the week:
IF we don’t know how to read the books of the Bible within their genre, AND we were taught that time is scripted from the beginning, THEN it makes sense why people are so fascinated with the end of the world.

It’s a bad way to read the Bible inside an faulty way to understand history… of course it all comes crashing down (in our minds).

I thank God for Harold Camping. I didn’t realize how many people thought “well he is half-right. It is going to happen, it’s just that we don’t know when” until this week. This has been eye opening.

May 21 will pass without incident, but then 2012 is hanging over head.

Jesus said that all these bad things he was predicting would happen “within this generation” (Matthew 24:34).  I think it was all in reference to the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 ad.  Others say that he was somehow referencing that founding of Israel in 1947. But we have to be coming to the end of that ‘generation’ too.

At some point we are going to have to admit that we may have taken a wrong turn or we may be reading the ‘map’ wrong.

At least part of the wake up will be realizing that it is not a “map” at all – but an ancient style of political critique that is couched in prophetic imagination. 

It’s called Apocalyptic literature and since we don’t know how to read it – we think that Revelation is some sort of Newspaper account written ahead of time. It’s not. It is theo-poetics addressing the Roman Empire of the first century.

I would love to get your comments or hear any questions that you might have. I want this to be a safe space for honest conversation.

Here is a post after the last round of Earthquakes and Prophecy talk: LINK The Bible is not about the end of the world

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Week of Videos

Here are the Videos of the Week:

#4 Driscoll yelling at Easter

#3 Bill Maher on Bin Laden and the Christian response (bad words included)

#2 The Rapture is this Saturday and Some Grey Bloke wants to share some wisdom

now, those were funny – but here is a real, sincere, and thought provoking one:

#1 My buddy Tripp Fuller on the Resurrection (this is the ONE you should watch)

http://www.altervideomagazine.com/2011/05/18/you-get-to/

or

http://www.theworkofthepeople.com/index.php?ct=store.details&pid=V00917

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Best poem I've read this year

This is the best poem I have read this year.

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I can’t post it all so click on the link to read the whole thing. It is wonderful. [link]
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bad guides

I was reading a big serious book tonight and I found a great little quote. It is from Ludwig Wittgenstein – who has a lot of interesting things to say (but that is for another day)

In teaching you philosophy I’m like a guide showing you how to find your way round London. I have to take you through the city from north to south from East to West, Continue reading “bad guides” →

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the C.S. Lewis Bible

I referenced C.S. Lewis earlier this week. I am always surprised by how much people like C.S. Lewis.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that I own and have read almost every book that is out. When I was an evangelical youth pastor, he was my go-to voice for apologetics and devotional material.

I bought the “Year with C.S. Lewis” the week it came out (ironically, at the Borders bookstore that had just opened in my town). I took a year off reading the Bible for morning devotions (I needed a break) and spent my quite times with his thought of the day. I have bought a dozen copies over the years as gifts for friends that I thought might like it.

So I just found out that they have released a C.S. Lewis annotated version of the Bible. Continue reading “the C.S. Lewis Bible” →

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the Tao of C.S. Lewis

I was sitting in Comparative Theology class listening to a presentation on Taoism and something really struck me. It was a quote.

The tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name.  (Tao Te Ching, chapter 1)

Now, I am not under the impression that all religions teach the same thing and I am not interested in downplaying real and substantial differences.  But there is an aspect to our Christian tradition called the apophatic tradition that is important if often neglected – and it ties in here.
I had never heard of the apophatic way (Via Negativa) before seminary. I was raised with and trained for ministry in the cataphatic tradition. It was all positive, presence, blessing. In fact, if those ‘good‘ things are absent, I was taught to ask “what is wrong”. Continue reading “the Tao of C.S. Lewis” →

3

From Men to Boys

Masculinity is a fascinating topic. I really am quite intrigued by what it means to ‘be a man’ and how that has changed over the last 200 years. There is a biological component (no doubt) but there is also a really prevalent social component. Masculinity is a construct in flux.

I was in College training for ministry during the Promise Keepers years. As a minister interacting with different families, I realized that the PK model didn’t work for every guy (and fewer gals). I loved the subject though and I read everything from “Wild at Heart” to Lads Mags. There was little doubt for me that masculinity was changing even in my lifetime. This was obvious at every level from my Family Reunions to the Church’s men’s retriets and Pastor Conferences to the missions trips we went on to other countries.

The best resource that I ever found was a book called “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: the archetypes of a man“. It is written from a Jungian perspective and it is powerful powerful stuff.

I have been saying for a long time that something is in the air. Part of it is the divorce culture, part of it is the feminist revolution, part of it is the medium of media (video games and internet) and part of it is the economy-work force.  But something is up. Continue reading “From Men to Boys” →

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Glee's greatest gift

I know that some people are excited about watching a football game today.  I, alas, am not. My beloved Chicago Bears were eliminated by their dastardly rivals and I have been left with no team to cheer for.

But don’t cry for me – I have something to look forward to on TV tonight that warms me deep down in southern California when I am chilled thinking about my friends who are freezing in the NorthEast and on the Canadian Prairies:  The return of Glee!

I love Glee.   I will freely admit it in the face of scorn and disdain Continue reading “Glee's greatest gift” →

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